we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
