I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You took a bar mat shot.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
