She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
