Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
