so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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