i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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