I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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