when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
