He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
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