Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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