my vag is so smooth its legendary
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
