So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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