I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
