Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she smelled like a LAN party
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
