i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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