i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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