The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
