if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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