Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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