just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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