i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
