If that was your dad, he is hot
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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