I just pynch a tree in the face
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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