Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
