"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
