so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
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