Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
