You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
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