There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
