real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
