You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
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i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
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can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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