she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I know her cup size but not her name....
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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