I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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