i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i came on her dog
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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