ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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