I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
