just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
