My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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