I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
