yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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