my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
