And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
