thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
