covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
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do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
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in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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