maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize