Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Pooping to opera.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
