i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
