I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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