All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
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And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
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Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I love you. Go after that dick
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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