His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
