Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
