There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
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my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
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You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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