Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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