in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
