they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i was born a porn star she said
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
