My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
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i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i think im in europe. pls send help
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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