somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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