just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
