he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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